“To change your life, you have to change the way you think. Behind everything you do, is a thought. Every behavior is motivated by a belief. Every action is promoted by an attitude. Be careful of how you think. Your life is directed by your thoughts!”

- John Wright

John Wright Speaking Video

Stop Picking Winners and Losers

Today, I move into the public victory section of Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (Simon & Schuster).

Habit #4: Think Win-Win.

I admit… There is a part of Win-Win that is difficult to get my arms around.

Most of us in the United States, and probably around the world, have not been trained or educated in Win-Win. The experience most of us have in life is one of competition, Win-Lose. I was trained to want to win, which meant that I wanted you to lose. Yet, when I look at my best relationships with the most important people in my life — family, co-workers, teammates, etc. — they are truly Win-Win.

Let’s quote the book:

“Thinking win-win is a frame of mind and heart that seeks mutual benefit and is based on mutual respect in all interactions. It’s about thinking in terms of abundance – an ever-expanding ‘pie,’ a cornucopia of opportunity, wealth, and resources – rather than of scarcity and adversarial competition. It’s not thinking selfishly (win-lose) or like a martyr (lose-win). In our work and family life, members think interdependently – in terms of ‘we’ not ‘me.’ Thinking win-win encourages conflict resolution and helps individuals seek mutually beneficial solutions. It’s sharing information, power, recognition, and rewards.”

I have been blessed to be a Rotarian for most of my professional life. Rotary is a worldwide organization with a first class reputation. The Four Way Test of Rotary, is a perfect example of the Win-Win philosophy.

1. Is it the truth?
2. Is it fair to all concerned?
3. Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?
4. WILL it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?

So here’s a suggestion. Pick only winners by adopting a Win-Win attitude in your dealings with others.